If you find yourself not being able to recognize your political party these days, you certainly are not alone. In the spirit of the Halloween season it seems that both democrats and republicans have put on masks that even their most hard line constituents don’t recognize.
President Barack Obama campaigned like a liberal ready to institute sweeping reforms in government but has ruled like a pragmatic dealmaker; something that has his liberal base in a proverbial tizzy as issues like health care reform and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell are not being changed the way some had hoped.
One would think that with majorities by large margins in the House and Senate as well as control of the White House that democrats would be happy, but the disenchantment from people who wholeheartedly supported Obama seems to be growing. The change they all hoped for hasn’t quite yet materialized and they aren’t in the mood for broad initiatives that are going to cost a lot of money.
In the case of Obama- yes, he can. He just hasn’t quite yet.
The problems though seem to be even bigger on the other side of the aisle. Only 20% of voters recently polled identify themselves as republicans. When your numbers dip below that dreaded to 20% mark the party may be reduced to the wife and children of Dick Cheney.
The G.O.P. seems to be headed for some massive sort of breakdown. A microcosm of that breakdown, a divide if you will, seems to be playing itself out in New York’s 23rd District where the Congressional race on the republican side has pitted Dede Scozzafava and Doug Hoffman against one another.
Scozzafava was thought to be the official G.O.P. nominee. A close examination of her voting record in the New York legislature shows her as right down the middle compared to other legislators around the country. That would make her a moderate.
Welcome to the new Republican Party, the one headed for breakdown where moderate just isn’t right enough.
Scozzafava, who supports gay rights and abortion rights pulled out of the race last week because of constant pressure and a barrage of insults on talk radio.
A candidate should be chosen by their district, because he or she meets the needs of that district. Ms. Scozzafava certainly should not have been railroaded out of running because of the wishes of a couple talking heads behind a microphone or right-wing cable news commentators.
Hoffman and the far right pulled out all of the big star luminaries for the occasion too. The former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and current Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty endorsed him.
It was clear that a moderate didn’t stand a chance. Even if she could have won New York’s 23rd Congressional district, she couldn’t overcome the idea that the Republican Party needs to go farther to the right and alienate even more voters.
If the republican’s have any hope of the comeback that party Chairman Michael Steele so often opines about, I would submit that they would do a great service by campaigning for moderate champions like Ms. Scozzafava and Senator Olympia Snow. These are people the party needs to be listening to.
They are listening to talk radio hosts and television commentators who are placing their unhealthy obsession with publicity and spotlight before a service to this country.
With more and more people being disenfranchised the independent sector of voters is growing, and those interested in partisan banter from people like Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh are in the minority.
More and more people no longer recognize their political party. Both parties seem to be totally ignoring the public’s mood on big issues.
The democrats have failed to use their bully pulpit to push through health care reform that, if presented properly, most Americans are in favor of. Now we are at a standstill, with each side becoming increasingly more stubborn and ignorant; while the U.S.A remains the only industrialized nation without a government healthcare option.
The republicans have also failed to feel the pulse of the nation as they continue to promote senseless conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan. Ordinary Americans are fed up and we can no longer stomach the meaningless casualties being seen overseas everyday.
Each party is baffling, the republicans seem to have a death wish while the democrats seems far too content not to use their majority for any of the sweeping reforms they promised on the campaign trail.
This is not the politics we go to the polls and vote for and it certainly isn’t what we expect in politicians. We need politicians who will roll up their sleeves and get to work on the promises they made us, because that’s why we vote for them.
It is time we stopped letting a few on the fringe dictate the direction of social policy in this country. Our politicians should pull their masks of and be who we elcted them to be.
It isn’t Halloween anymore.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Forgiveness forgotten...
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”
--Mark Twain
I've been plaugued recently with the prospect of forgivness, forgetting and the difference between the two. We all know what forgivness is in the definition sense, but it seems that too many people are confused by what forgivness is not. Clearly forgiveness is not forgetting.
Forgiveness means we are not going to allow the experiences of the past dominate our future.
Forgiveness is not avoidance. It is not making light of something we find hurtful. Being the imperfect people we are, there are constantly things that happen between us and others that are minor irritations. We can ignore these. However, when the hurt is real, it is not helpful to say "It doesn't matter", or to make light of something that is basically wrong. That is being dishonest. Where a relationship is spoiled, something more is necessary. Forgiveness is the vital action of love, seeking to restore the harmony that has been shattered. Chosing to live in that "shattered" state only hurts those who fail to forgive.
Forgiveness is not excusing. It is not denying that the one who has caused the hurt is responsible for their actions. There is a place for making allowances for people's behaviour. However, there is a tendency today to err too much in that direction. It is true that some people are more "sinned against" than sinning, but to deny responsibility for the choices we make is to lessen our dignity as human beings. We are beings who are to be taken to account for our moral choices. Invariably we mess things up, but if we are to grow we must accept responsibility for our own part in that process. One of my favorite quotes on the subject comes from my favorite author, C.S. Lewis who said, "If one was really not to blame, then there is nothing to forgive. In that sense forgiveness and excusing are almost opposite."
It is important to know what forgiveness does not do. It may not take away the hurt. It does not deny the past injury. It does not ignore the possibility and need for repentance and a change in the relationship. It means being willing to take the initiative in dealing with any barriers that I may be raising towards a restored relationship.
More people are harmed by nursing grudges and harbouring grievences that by any other emotional means. We only get one life, one trip around the sun. Its senseless to spend it living in the past and allowing ourselves to continue to be hurt by things that, while we wish they had never hurt us in the first place, should have only been allowed to reign over us once.
I don't want to look back and regret the way I handled this, or wish I would have done something differently. Forgiveness offers an out from that lifestyle. It allows us all to live in the present and enjoy the future.
It's not forgetting. It's forgiveness. It's smart and it's mindful; something we should all be so inclined to give a chance.
--Mark Twain
I've been plaugued recently with the prospect of forgivness, forgetting and the difference between the two. We all know what forgivness is in the definition sense, but it seems that too many people are confused by what forgivness is not. Clearly forgiveness is not forgetting.
Forgiveness means we are not going to allow the experiences of the past dominate our future.
Forgiveness is not avoidance. It is not making light of something we find hurtful. Being the imperfect people we are, there are constantly things that happen between us and others that are minor irritations. We can ignore these. However, when the hurt is real, it is not helpful to say "It doesn't matter", or to make light of something that is basically wrong. That is being dishonest. Where a relationship is spoiled, something more is necessary. Forgiveness is the vital action of love, seeking to restore the harmony that has been shattered. Chosing to live in that "shattered" state only hurts those who fail to forgive.
Forgiveness is not excusing. It is not denying that the one who has caused the hurt is responsible for their actions. There is a place for making allowances for people's behaviour. However, there is a tendency today to err too much in that direction. It is true that some people are more "sinned against" than sinning, but to deny responsibility for the choices we make is to lessen our dignity as human beings. We are beings who are to be taken to account for our moral choices. Invariably we mess things up, but if we are to grow we must accept responsibility for our own part in that process. One of my favorite quotes on the subject comes from my favorite author, C.S. Lewis who said, "If one was really not to blame, then there is nothing to forgive. In that sense forgiveness and excusing are almost opposite."
It is important to know what forgiveness does not do. It may not take away the hurt. It does not deny the past injury. It does not ignore the possibility and need for repentance and a change in the relationship. It means being willing to take the initiative in dealing with any barriers that I may be raising towards a restored relationship.
More people are harmed by nursing grudges and harbouring grievences that by any other emotional means. We only get one life, one trip around the sun. Its senseless to spend it living in the past and allowing ourselves to continue to be hurt by things that, while we wish they had never hurt us in the first place, should have only been allowed to reign over us once.
I don't want to look back and regret the way I handled this, or wish I would have done something differently. Forgiveness offers an out from that lifestyle. It allows us all to live in the present and enjoy the future.
It's not forgetting. It's forgiveness. It's smart and it's mindful; something we should all be so inclined to give a chance.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Misdirected Magic
Yesterday was National Coming out day. I'm gay, I believe in God. I'm not ashamed of either...
It didn't take me long, however, to become ashamed of the church I grew up attending shortly after turning the radio on last night to tune into their Sunday night service. Its something I do from time to time to listen, observe and soak in what I hear. Upon leaving there for another church when I turned 18 I have joked to everyone who asks that I am a "recovering Baptist." Last night, all jokes aside, after hearing what I did I was shocked and appalled.
Recovery Complete.
I knew it was coming. Sort of like that summer storm cloud when you can see the darkness and smell the rain long before the storm arrives. Somehow I knew, given the news of the weekend, the march on Washington D.C. and the president's speech to the HRC, that the sermon would turn to Homosexuality. "I want to talk for a minute about these people they call gays," the pastor said.
A minute turned into ten and ten into twenty as the argument was laid out as for why he loved homosexuals, but hated homosexuality. In fact he loves them more than the "people they run around with" because he's trying to get them out of their sin. "I your house were on fire," he argued, "you'd listen to the person trying to get you out of danger." All of the classic arguments were given: The story of Lot, Sodom and Gomorrah, the book of Leviticus and Romans mentioned too. They always are. Debunking those arguments is something I have spent the last 5 years studying.
I wanted to scream at the radio, then I wanted to cry. Then I wanted to sit the pastor down and let him know that I am one of these people he calls gays. I sat under his preaching for some 18 years. I went to his school, walked across the stage, shook his hand as I received my diploma. For all 18 of those years, though he would never believe it, I was gay, because I was born that way. Not because I'm mired in a sinful lifestyle. Choosing to be a vegetarian is lifestyle, people don't choose to be gay any more than he chose to be straight. That's scientific fact, but science and religion have sadly always been strangers.
What has not always been strangers is this sort of misdirected magic that takes place in churches everywhere. The cleverest magicians are only good because they are
flawless in the art of misdirection.They distract the eyes of the audience to something attention-grabbing but irrelevant so that no one notices what the magician is really doing. Look over at that fuchsia scarf, up this sleeve, at anything besides the actual trick. The trick here is that churches, and the religious right is behind a campaign to smear homosexuality, label it as a boogeyman that steals the mind. They've labeled it as a dangerous sin that threatens the "sanctity of marriage." I'm still wondering how my being attracted to the same-sex threatens the sanctity of marriage when it would seem that the divorce, and infidelity that runs rampant in churches and abroad would be more of a threat.
The sermon I heard last night was supposedly about "truth", but for the almost twenty minutes the pastor went on about homosexuality I heard very little truth at all. Sodom and Gomorrah wasn't destroyed because of homosexuality. A quick study in history would have easily shown him that the townspeople's desire to "know" the men was customary degradation in that time. If you really wanted to defeat your enemy, you raped them. Plain and simple. The people of Sodom and Gomorrah weren't destroyed because they were flamers. They were destroyed because of their lack of hospitality to strangers. Something that sadly, some churches are even guilty of today. Lot is too often praised as a hero, and only righteous man in Sodom when in reality he offered his daughters to be gang-raped by the mob and later had an incestuous relationship with one of his own daughters. He was hardly righteous. Its shameful for someone who is the leader of a church congregation to sugget that he was.
That's the sad reality though. The Bible is constantly touted as infallible and its twisted to fit whatever argument is being made at the time. The religious right has become expert cherry-pickers. Men sleeping men is an abomination. According to that same passage though, so it cutting ones hair, trimming their beard, even eating shell fish. Jesus came to do away with Levitical law. I don't ever remember him saying that if it helps you demonize the gays, you can blow the dust off of it.
Put down that shrimp, pastor or you're no better than I am.
The argument, you see, is ridiculous. They are just expert magicians. The Jesus I have come to know since leaving the Baptist church never once in his 33 years on earth and 3 years of active teaching mentioned homosexuality. I think its safe to assume that if he didn't mention it, it probably wasn't worth mentioning. what he did mention were things like, loving your neighbor, being kind to the poor and downtrodden, showing mercy. The greatest of these, he said, is love. Somewhere along the way churches and the pastors who lead them have lost the love.
Christianity isn't some masterpiece in a museum that is to be left untouched. Its the Velvet Elvis in our basement. Its there for us to re-work, re-think and to sometimes paint over. Just like the artist no doubt erases, fixes errors and re-paints so too do Times change, faith changes. Life isn't as it was in Jerusalem 2000 years ago. I think Jesus realized that.
I wish more people would trade in their Mona Lisa for a Velvet Elvis.
The religious right has demonized something undeserving and have done so just like a good magician, by diverting the attention of the public away from the real issue, love and equality.My hope and vision for the people of this country is that their blindness to love in this instance is turned to blindness toward whom others love. Right now, the opposition seems only blinded by bias and bigotry. If they really were interested in the "sanctity of marriage" as they often claim
to be, perhaps they would focus their time on repealing the divorce laws in every state.
If the focus in this country and our churches must be on the rights of gays and lesbians I think it much more productive to focus on the rights being denied to them.There is clearly no legitimate reason, consistent with the spirit of the Constitution why two people who have spent the majority of their lives together are denied health insurance, tax deductions, inheritance benefits and most importantly recognition of their union by the state. I guess the burning questions is, why? Why are we repeating our history of closed-mindedness and bigotry? Why is it that we continue to ignore history? States are now issuing apologies for slavery. Just this year, I voted for a woman in the Presidential primaries. The signs of how far we’ve come as a nation are all around us. Yet,with the passage of laws such as Proposition 8 it becomes even more apparent that we haven’t come far enough.
I thought and still do believe that I live in a country where "all are created equal." At least that’s the line I memorized in middle school. Same-sex marriage is just as much about equality and the dignity of the individual as were the movements for desegregation and women's rights. I will not rest until equality is recognized and ceases to be challenged – I just hope that homosexuals are not alone in this battle and have allies who are willing to stand next to us and work for what is right, and that those willing to believe scare tactics and magic tricks are in the minority.
It didn't take me long, however, to become ashamed of the church I grew up attending shortly after turning the radio on last night to tune into their Sunday night service. Its something I do from time to time to listen, observe and soak in what I hear. Upon leaving there for another church when I turned 18 I have joked to everyone who asks that I am a "recovering Baptist." Last night, all jokes aside, after hearing what I did I was shocked and appalled.
Recovery Complete.
I knew it was coming. Sort of like that summer storm cloud when you can see the darkness and smell the rain long before the storm arrives. Somehow I knew, given the news of the weekend, the march on Washington D.C. and the president's speech to the HRC, that the sermon would turn to Homosexuality. "I want to talk for a minute about these people they call gays," the pastor said.
A minute turned into ten and ten into twenty as the argument was laid out as for why he loved homosexuals, but hated homosexuality. In fact he loves them more than the "people they run around with" because he's trying to get them out of their sin. "I your house were on fire," he argued, "you'd listen to the person trying to get you out of danger." All of the classic arguments were given: The story of Lot, Sodom and Gomorrah, the book of Leviticus and Romans mentioned too. They always are. Debunking those arguments is something I have spent the last 5 years studying.
I wanted to scream at the radio, then I wanted to cry. Then I wanted to sit the pastor down and let him know that I am one of these people he calls gays. I sat under his preaching for some 18 years. I went to his school, walked across the stage, shook his hand as I received my diploma. For all 18 of those years, though he would never believe it, I was gay, because I was born that way. Not because I'm mired in a sinful lifestyle. Choosing to be a vegetarian is lifestyle, people don't choose to be gay any more than he chose to be straight. That's scientific fact, but science and religion have sadly always been strangers.
What has not always been strangers is this sort of misdirected magic that takes place in churches everywhere. The cleverest magicians are only good because they are
flawless in the art of misdirection.They distract the eyes of the audience to something attention-grabbing but irrelevant so that no one notices what the magician is really doing. Look over at that fuchsia scarf, up this sleeve, at anything besides the actual trick. The trick here is that churches, and the religious right is behind a campaign to smear homosexuality, label it as a boogeyman that steals the mind. They've labeled it as a dangerous sin that threatens the "sanctity of marriage." I'm still wondering how my being attracted to the same-sex threatens the sanctity of marriage when it would seem that the divorce, and infidelity that runs rampant in churches and abroad would be more of a threat.
The sermon I heard last night was supposedly about "truth", but for the almost twenty minutes the pastor went on about homosexuality I heard very little truth at all. Sodom and Gomorrah wasn't destroyed because of homosexuality. A quick study in history would have easily shown him that the townspeople's desire to "know" the men was customary degradation in that time. If you really wanted to defeat your enemy, you raped them. Plain and simple. The people of Sodom and Gomorrah weren't destroyed because they were flamers. They were destroyed because of their lack of hospitality to strangers. Something that sadly, some churches are even guilty of today. Lot is too often praised as a hero, and only righteous man in Sodom when in reality he offered his daughters to be gang-raped by the mob and later had an incestuous relationship with one of his own daughters. He was hardly righteous. Its shameful for someone who is the leader of a church congregation to sugget that he was.
That's the sad reality though. The Bible is constantly touted as infallible and its twisted to fit whatever argument is being made at the time. The religious right has become expert cherry-pickers. Men sleeping men is an abomination. According to that same passage though, so it cutting ones hair, trimming their beard, even eating shell fish. Jesus came to do away with Levitical law. I don't ever remember him saying that if it helps you demonize the gays, you can blow the dust off of it.
Put down that shrimp, pastor or you're no better than I am.
The argument, you see, is ridiculous. They are just expert magicians. The Jesus I have come to know since leaving the Baptist church never once in his 33 years on earth and 3 years of active teaching mentioned homosexuality. I think its safe to assume that if he didn't mention it, it probably wasn't worth mentioning. what he did mention were things like, loving your neighbor, being kind to the poor and downtrodden, showing mercy. The greatest of these, he said, is love. Somewhere along the way churches and the pastors who lead them have lost the love.
Christianity isn't some masterpiece in a museum that is to be left untouched. Its the Velvet Elvis in our basement. Its there for us to re-work, re-think and to sometimes paint over. Just like the artist no doubt erases, fixes errors and re-paints so too do Times change, faith changes. Life isn't as it was in Jerusalem 2000 years ago. I think Jesus realized that.
I wish more people would trade in their Mona Lisa for a Velvet Elvis.
The religious right has demonized something undeserving and have done so just like a good magician, by diverting the attention of the public away from the real issue, love and equality.My hope and vision for the people of this country is that their blindness to love in this instance is turned to blindness toward whom others love. Right now, the opposition seems only blinded by bias and bigotry. If they really were interested in the "sanctity of marriage" as they often claim
to be, perhaps they would focus their time on repealing the divorce laws in every state.
If the focus in this country and our churches must be on the rights of gays and lesbians I think it much more productive to focus on the rights being denied to them.There is clearly no legitimate reason, consistent with the spirit of the Constitution why two people who have spent the majority of their lives together are denied health insurance, tax deductions, inheritance benefits and most importantly recognition of their union by the state. I guess the burning questions is, why? Why are we repeating our history of closed-mindedness and bigotry? Why is it that we continue to ignore history? States are now issuing apologies for slavery. Just this year, I voted for a woman in the Presidential primaries. The signs of how far we’ve come as a nation are all around us. Yet,with the passage of laws such as Proposition 8 it becomes even more apparent that we haven’t come far enough.
I thought and still do believe that I live in a country where "all are created equal." At least that’s the line I memorized in middle school. Same-sex marriage is just as much about equality and the dignity of the individual as were the movements for desegregation and women's rights. I will not rest until equality is recognized and ceases to be challenged – I just hope that homosexuals are not alone in this battle and have allies who are willing to stand next to us and work for what is right, and that those willing to believe scare tactics and magic tricks are in the minority.
Friday, October 9, 2009
The first twenty-three with a little help from my friends...
Looking back now its been one hell of a ride...
I can only imagine what the next 23 will be like. Twenty-three years ago today, I was born. It doesn't seem like all that long ago I was in elementary school and now here I am. A lot has changed since then. I can't just hold up fingers for "how many I am" and I'm certainly not counting the years in halves either...oh to be four and a half again.
I posted on my facebook status this morning that most of the last twenty-three years, I wouldn't trade for the world. What I would trade, I said, you can probably find at the Dollar Tree. That was a breezy statement though and I admit I probably said it for its humor rather than its truth. While there are certainly those moments in life we'd all rather forget an wish we had to do over again, the truth is that it simply is not possible. Those moments in our lives that we wish we could sell to the Dollar Tree bargain bin can be used for good. They can be used as productive learning experiences. Ones that we move on from and become better people because of. Heaven knows I have had my share of those...
Hopefully in twenty-three more I can look back and thank God I went through them.
Its about 6am I'm at wok and as I type this and already I've gotten three presents and one card. As a side note, I love my job and the people here...The first card I got offers priceless advice. "Its your birthday" the outside reads. The inside says, "accommodate no one." If there is one thing the last few years, and weeks have taught me its that everyone in the world seems concerned with their own happiness, who shouldn't I?
No more accommodations.
I will admit its hard to heed that advice. Its hard to move on from things that have been institutions in your adult life in the name of happiness. I'm working on that though with a couple of things in mind:
The first is that you can't 'fake' happiness. There are no temporary solutions. Happiness is a gift we're given. You can't buy it, sell it, put it on or take it off. You won't find it in the material, silver, gold, money or titles. I was immature enough in the past to think that if I actively pursued it I could force happiness to come to me.
I was wrong. Anyone else who believes that is just as wrong as I am.
The second thing I've kept in mind is the simple phrase my Grandma sill says, "this too shall pass." I'd be lying if I didn't admit that the last year has been one of the toughest emotional roller coasters I have ever experienced. Part of me at times has wanted to throw my hands in the air and just give up. At times its seemed easier. Then I hear those words. Pain in this life, though it doesn't make it any less bearable, is temporary. I've found it hard to convince myself of that lately, but I'm working on it.
One day I'll probably look back on the last year as just another drop in this enormous bucket of life; a year that taught me more than I could have ever imagined. A year that helped me grow more than I could have ever imagined and a year that will eventually be responsible for my happiness. Not fake happiness, not me trying to convince myself I am happy to avoid pain. Just happiness, in its true form.
Come down to the river
Come and let yourself in
Make good on a promise
To never hurt again
If you're lost and lonely
You're Broken down
Bring all of your troubles come lay 'em down
I can only imagine what the next 23 will be like. Twenty-three years ago today, I was born. It doesn't seem like all that long ago I was in elementary school and now here I am. A lot has changed since then. I can't just hold up fingers for "how many I am" and I'm certainly not counting the years in halves either...oh to be four and a half again.
I posted on my facebook status this morning that most of the last twenty-three years, I wouldn't trade for the world. What I would trade, I said, you can probably find at the Dollar Tree. That was a breezy statement though and I admit I probably said it for its humor rather than its truth. While there are certainly those moments in life we'd all rather forget an wish we had to do over again, the truth is that it simply is not possible. Those moments in our lives that we wish we could sell to the Dollar Tree bargain bin can be used for good. They can be used as productive learning experiences. Ones that we move on from and become better people because of. Heaven knows I have had my share of those...
Hopefully in twenty-three more I can look back and thank God I went through them.
Its about 6am I'm at wok and as I type this and already I've gotten three presents and one card. As a side note, I love my job and the people here...The first card I got offers priceless advice. "Its your birthday" the outside reads. The inside says, "accommodate no one." If there is one thing the last few years, and weeks have taught me its that everyone in the world seems concerned with their own happiness, who shouldn't I?
No more accommodations.
I will admit its hard to heed that advice. Its hard to move on from things that have been institutions in your adult life in the name of happiness. I'm working on that though with a couple of things in mind:
The first is that you can't 'fake' happiness. There are no temporary solutions. Happiness is a gift we're given. You can't buy it, sell it, put it on or take it off. You won't find it in the material, silver, gold, money or titles. I was immature enough in the past to think that if I actively pursued it I could force happiness to come to me.
I was wrong. Anyone else who believes that is just as wrong as I am.
The second thing I've kept in mind is the simple phrase my Grandma sill says, "this too shall pass." I'd be lying if I didn't admit that the last year has been one of the toughest emotional roller coasters I have ever experienced. Part of me at times has wanted to throw my hands in the air and just give up. At times its seemed easier. Then I hear those words. Pain in this life, though it doesn't make it any less bearable, is temporary. I've found it hard to convince myself of that lately, but I'm working on it.
One day I'll probably look back on the last year as just another drop in this enormous bucket of life; a year that taught me more than I could have ever imagined. A year that helped me grow more than I could have ever imagined and a year that will eventually be responsible for my happiness. Not fake happiness, not me trying to convince myself I am happy to avoid pain. Just happiness, in its true form.
Come down to the river
Come and let yourself in
Make good on a promise
To never hurt again
If you're lost and lonely
You're Broken down
Bring all of your troubles come lay 'em down
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Letterman, Edwards and the sanctity of honesty and marriage
The following is my latest OP-Ed which will appear in the Tuesday edition of The Collegian:
It appears that David Letterman has a top ten list like no other. Its the top ten notches in his bedpost.
Those notches were made public last week as Letterman revealed himself part of an extortion attempt. In turn he also revealed himself as a creepy old late-night talk show host who sleeps with his staff members. The scene is the classic boss sleeps with employees scenario. Only this time someone found out, and threatened to release the information on Letterman’s infidelities if he didn’t pay up.
Letterman didn’t have to pay up but he did have to fess up. His extortionist will be locked up.
Beneath the awkwardness and bawdy humor though, there are a couple of lessons to be learned from Letterman’s antics and his subsequent confession, which he chose to do on air, behind the desk that he inherited from Johnny Carson.
In a world where the Ensigns, Spitzers and Edwards’ can preach family values to their constituents and do something completely different behind closed doors, Letterman’s airing of his own dirty laundry is quite refreshing. Not because what he did is remotely right but because I never heard David Letterman preach family values and as far as I can see he never made himself out to be something he wasn’t to his audience.
David Letterman does his job night in and night out. He makes us laugh. When he made a mistake, though it took possible extortion to convince him to do so, he came clean. He didn’t play the victim and he certainly didn’t deny the charges. If Mark Sanford had been as straightforward about his South American rendezvous as Letterman was about his affairs it might have all turned out better for the South Carolina governor.
The truth is that every embattled politician should take a page out of Letterman’s book here. They should do their job, be our leaders, legislate, veto and when you make a mistake—be honest about it.
The unfortunate reality here is that politicians don’t know what honesty is when it comes to their bedfellows. It seems like almost a daily news event that another politician’s affair is rolled out, initially denied, and then finally admitted to. This isn’t why we elect our politicians, but it has become so common place that its almost swept under the rug.
It appears that North Carolina’s very own John Edwards, after vehemently denying the allegations, really is the father of Rielle Hunter’s baby. It was also released this week that he may have promised her a rooftop wedding upon his wife’s death. All of this is speculation at the time but could have been completely avoided had he displayed the honesty and openness that Letterman did last week.
Maybe Letterman should run for office and Edwards should be the clown behind the Late Show desk.
There is another lesson to be learned from the barrage of extra-marital affairs that clog our airwaves and newscasts. Right on the heels of John Edwards’ infidelity and David Letterman’s bombshell is a love, marriage, horse and carriage of a totally different color.
Here in our own backyard a billboard featuring the faces of same-sex couples and how long they have been committed to one another has become the topic of heated debate. “Haven’t we waited long enough?” the billboard states, referring to the wait for equal rights and marriage laws for same-sex couples.
Triad Equality Alliance is responsible for the billboard.
The debate over the billboard is obviously going to be a tumultuous one here in what is no doubt the buckle of the Bible-belt. The obvious answer to the question is “yes.” Same sex couples have had to wait long enough. The better question is how many more of our elected officials do homosexuals have to watch defile an institution they are not even allowed to be a part of?
How many more Senators will deny affairs before the couple on the billboard together for 21 years can finally exchange their vows? How many more late night talk show hosts will come clean about their infidelity before two people, who have never known the benefits of marriage much less its “sanctity”, can receive the same benefits as heterosexual couples.
The sanctity of marriage argument is nothing short of a straw man and one need simply to look at David Letterman and John Edwards to prove that point. These are two married men; both with children, who forsook their own “sanctified” institution to have an affair. It is so common place that we greet their stories on the news now with a wink and a nod, yet when same-sex couples tastefully are tastefully portrayed on a billboard asking for the rights of every other married couple, a dark cloud of judgment moves over our city.
The extra-marital affairs that run rampant in American politics and pop culture have done far more to hurt the proverbial sanctity of marriage than equal rights for homosexual couples would.
So while our politicians would do well to learn from David Letterman’s handling of his affairs we would all do better as a people to stand up, tell our entertainers to shut-up and sing, our politicians to shut-up and be honest and worry less about the rights deserved by two loving committed individuals.
I dare say marriage would mean the most to those who have had it denied them the longest. Its time we were all on equal ground; that everyone share the right and ability to be married and enjoy the benefits of it.
Ellen Gerber, one of the faces which appear with her partner on the billboard in Greensboro said, “I would really like to stand before our community and family and get married.” Maybe if Gerber and her partner are given the chance they could be a little better at marriage than John Edwards and David Letterman.
It appears that David Letterman has a top ten list like no other. Its the top ten notches in his bedpost.
Those notches were made public last week as Letterman revealed himself part of an extortion attempt. In turn he also revealed himself as a creepy old late-night talk show host who sleeps with his staff members. The scene is the classic boss sleeps with employees scenario. Only this time someone found out, and threatened to release the information on Letterman’s infidelities if he didn’t pay up.
Letterman didn’t have to pay up but he did have to fess up. His extortionist will be locked up.
Beneath the awkwardness and bawdy humor though, there are a couple of lessons to be learned from Letterman’s antics and his subsequent confession, which he chose to do on air, behind the desk that he inherited from Johnny Carson.
In a world where the Ensigns, Spitzers and Edwards’ can preach family values to their constituents and do something completely different behind closed doors, Letterman’s airing of his own dirty laundry is quite refreshing. Not because what he did is remotely right but because I never heard David Letterman preach family values and as far as I can see he never made himself out to be something he wasn’t to his audience.
David Letterman does his job night in and night out. He makes us laugh. When he made a mistake, though it took possible extortion to convince him to do so, he came clean. He didn’t play the victim and he certainly didn’t deny the charges. If Mark Sanford had been as straightforward about his South American rendezvous as Letterman was about his affairs it might have all turned out better for the South Carolina governor.
The truth is that every embattled politician should take a page out of Letterman’s book here. They should do their job, be our leaders, legislate, veto and when you make a mistake—be honest about it.
The unfortunate reality here is that politicians don’t know what honesty is when it comes to their bedfellows. It seems like almost a daily news event that another politician’s affair is rolled out, initially denied, and then finally admitted to. This isn’t why we elect our politicians, but it has become so common place that its almost swept under the rug.
It appears that North Carolina’s very own John Edwards, after vehemently denying the allegations, really is the father of Rielle Hunter’s baby. It was also released this week that he may have promised her a rooftop wedding upon his wife’s death. All of this is speculation at the time but could have been completely avoided had he displayed the honesty and openness that Letterman did last week.
Maybe Letterman should run for office and Edwards should be the clown behind the Late Show desk.
There is another lesson to be learned from the barrage of extra-marital affairs that clog our airwaves and newscasts. Right on the heels of John Edwards’ infidelity and David Letterman’s bombshell is a love, marriage, horse and carriage of a totally different color.
Here in our own backyard a billboard featuring the faces of same-sex couples and how long they have been committed to one another has become the topic of heated debate. “Haven’t we waited long enough?” the billboard states, referring to the wait for equal rights and marriage laws for same-sex couples.
Triad Equality Alliance is responsible for the billboard.
The debate over the billboard is obviously going to be a tumultuous one here in what is no doubt the buckle of the Bible-belt. The obvious answer to the question is “yes.” Same sex couples have had to wait long enough. The better question is how many more of our elected officials do homosexuals have to watch defile an institution they are not even allowed to be a part of?
How many more Senators will deny affairs before the couple on the billboard together for 21 years can finally exchange their vows? How many more late night talk show hosts will come clean about their infidelity before two people, who have never known the benefits of marriage much less its “sanctity”, can receive the same benefits as heterosexual couples.
The sanctity of marriage argument is nothing short of a straw man and one need simply to look at David Letterman and John Edwards to prove that point. These are two married men; both with children, who forsook their own “sanctified” institution to have an affair. It is so common place that we greet their stories on the news now with a wink and a nod, yet when same-sex couples tastefully are tastefully portrayed on a billboard asking for the rights of every other married couple, a dark cloud of judgment moves over our city.
The extra-marital affairs that run rampant in American politics and pop culture have done far more to hurt the proverbial sanctity of marriage than equal rights for homosexual couples would.
So while our politicians would do well to learn from David Letterman’s handling of his affairs we would all do better as a people to stand up, tell our entertainers to shut-up and sing, our politicians to shut-up and be honest and worry less about the rights deserved by two loving committed individuals.
I dare say marriage would mean the most to those who have had it denied them the longest. Its time we were all on equal ground; that everyone share the right and ability to be married and enjoy the benefits of it.
Ellen Gerber, one of the faces which appear with her partner on the billboard in Greensboro said, “I would really like to stand before our community and family and get married.” Maybe if Gerber and her partner are given the chance they could be a little better at marriage than John Edwards and David Letterman.
Friday, October 2, 2009
These walls will fall down
Its a sad picture, The final blow hit you
Someone else gets what you wanted, again.
To save space I'll start by saying that this past weekend a large part of my world was turned on its ear and fell apart...
Now I'm faced with the daunting task of some rebuilding of myself as a person and some demolition as I tear down whatever walls that kept me from doing things right the first time. That is what life is all about, isn't it? Isn't it all a learning experience where we try things and they either work out and we're happy or they don't work and we are forced to learn, rebuild, demolish and try to get things right next time.
Five days removed from the scene of the crime and I am just taking things one day, one hour, one minute, sometimes one breath at a time. Its a frightening experience to say the least and one that, unfortunately, I cannot convey in words or actions just how painful it all is. There's light at the end of every tunnel though, a rainbow at the end of every storm. There will be consolation here too.
I looked in the mirror yesterday morning...I was faced with a choice. I could walk away and say I don't need this.
But, there was something in my eyes that told me I could beat this....
Someone else gets what you wanted, again.
To save space I'll start by saying that this past weekend a large part of my world was turned on its ear and fell apart...
Now I'm faced with the daunting task of some rebuilding of myself as a person and some demolition as I tear down whatever walls that kept me from doing things right the first time. That is what life is all about, isn't it? Isn't it all a learning experience where we try things and they either work out and we're happy or they don't work and we are forced to learn, rebuild, demolish and try to get things right next time.
Five days removed from the scene of the crime and I am just taking things one day, one hour, one minute, sometimes one breath at a time. Its a frightening experience to say the least and one that, unfortunately, I cannot convey in words or actions just how painful it all is. There's light at the end of every tunnel though, a rainbow at the end of every storm. There will be consolation here too.
I looked in the mirror yesterday morning...I was faced with a choice. I could walk away and say I don't need this.
But, there was something in my eyes that told me I could beat this....
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